pre-text: wrote this after i got slapped in the face by my dad. not something i am too proud of but it happened. and it happened when i was at this point in my life where i couldn't really care less for anything.
muse: daddy
a slap in the face
and not a drop of tear
the sudden swoop on my face stings
my ears, i hear them ring
but i almost welcome the numbing pain
gives me an excuse to cry a pouring rain
standing in front of you, i just don't know what to do
i can hear your boiling blood pumping through you
i feel breathless as you heave
you ask me the same old questions, i only want to leave
so i don't have another person to answer to
cause you and me makes two
i smoke and i drink and i swear
i push you to your limits as much as i dare
maybe i am just testing your patience and maybe your love
because i got fucked so bad, everything's a blur
can't find no answers to nothing, i turn to distractions
self aware of my ways of self destruction
i ride on the fleeting highs
in hope to counterbalance the lows in my mind
no it does not do me good in the long run
but it was never my goal to be a nun
i indulge in the vices whilst i long for something sturdy, steadfast and strong
something you have been offering me all along
yet i pull out and push you away
give up on me, that is all i can say
let me dwell in my bottomless hole, grapple with my issues
and fight my own demons because now i don't need you
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