my heaven

pre-text: i am not sure when i wrote this....i came across this scribbled on a Travelodge memo stashed in my memos..

muse: must be on a plane..or on a trip

heaven is above the the clouds
when the sun shines steadily
it casts an orange glow
on all the cottonballs
some big, others small
some thin and wisp
some full and hearty
the sun is on its own horizon
setting on a thin wafer-like cloud
i want to bounce from one cloud to the other
and not fall to earth
play like an angel
without a care in the world
and then i do
the sun's lost and i am fumbling
tossed head over heels
my arms are flailing and my legs are out of control
caught in a aero-wave
i come crashing down to earth
will i die?
maybe if i die, i can go to heaven again
for a joyride

rational fall

pre-text: yes you can fall in love...but after falling and getting your heart broken repeatedly, you learn how to fall. in life, you fall forward with your hands stretched out or backwards on your butt. they call it protective extension. in love, you fall with...logic and rationality. either way, you fall.

muse: pl

you were foreign to me
invading my space
breaking down my walls
i forgot how it feels
to be suffocated
by passion and desire
i lived from hour to hour
mile to mile
now i long to be close to you
your warmth melts away my fears
i want you so close i feel your blood throbbing
maybe then your goodness will rub off on me too
i am learning still to let you in
and keep you in my life
so let me be where you are
whenever the moon and sun change their shifts

thoughts

pre-text: it's been a while..and these were old random thoughts that still come to mind from time to time.

muse: good old experiences

squeeze the clouds, wring them dry
hold on tight to your dreams before they fly away
our clocks chime in sync
but never at the same time
like line dancing we learn steps to the song of life
only to have it change when we get it down
answering questions and questioning answers
round and round till it loses all meaning to question
honesty does not stab you in the back
but shoots you in the foot and leaves you stranded with the truth
keep on smiling keep on trudging keep on searching
end up settling for entities of happiness
love is unconditional dependent of worthiness
sell forever in units of diamonds
the sun shines down upon us all
but it feels hotter here than there
you get greedy when you want
bigger, faster, better, more
you get content when you want what you need and nothing else
you get sad when you do not know what you want at all
secrets do not keep you secure in the inner circle
they trap you in guilt and paranoia
sometimes is always this time
and you wonder why
hanging onto that one person
only to have them hung up on someone else
between layers of clouds, time almost seems to slow down
limbo in a world beyond description
night has not fallen, the sun has not risen
the world just keeps on spinning.

nook in my neck

pre-text: i wrote this for a friend who wasn't having the greatest time of his life...and it's funny because i've never met him...but i wished really badly to be beside him to offer the nook in my neck. i guess there are many times when someone you know is crying and you have no idea what to do, but offer the nook in your neck to them.

muse: kr

i want to tuck your hair back
get it out of your eyes
and wipe that stray tear off the corner of your eye
stroke your cheeks
hold still that quivering lip of yours
lean a little closer into me
it is okay to let it go
let it out and let them fall
those feelings you cannot decide on
and the defenses, the pretences
cuddle into the nook of my neck
i believe it was shaped for such things
to say i know how you feel
would be trying too hard
maybe even a big fat lie
you do not know what you want
answers and solutions may not even suffice
i shall not offer anything
but the nook of my neck

lovebeat

pre-text: was thinking of how hk's love for me is always constant, i say mean things and he puts up with it. and the times i called roo over the past few wks crying..and tonight when i called home to granny, mummy and diana. i have family and friends who loved me over the years, near or far, fat or skinny, nice or not...unconditional. and im blessed.

muse: those who love me

countless days like fleeting like clouds in the sky
countless nights like stars in the universe
seasons came and gone as nature’s work
time timed through the fine grains of an hourglass
your love is like the beating of my heart
constant and consistent
each beat is matched with a pulse of love from you
there are moments of quiet slow calming love
and then there are moments of excitement and passion
oh, do not forget the angry painful ones
when I am so blinded by hate and hurt
then I hear my heart pounding
and I remember your love for me
stronger and louder than ever
days passing by like wind blowing across the land
nights floating over like waves in the ocean
seasons coming and going, recycling the cycle
present becoming the past and future becoming the present with each tick of the clock
your love is the beating of my heart
an ethereal union of the two
and when my heart stops beating
i know your love will still live on.

maybe

pre-text: you know how shows on tv always end the emo episode with "maybe..." sometimes it's one word...sometimes it is something 'profound'. it leaves me feeling...what they want: emotional. then i remember the moments i think of when i used maybes...and this is what i came up with.

muse: maybe my emotions? (no pun intended)

Maybe may be the most uncertain word.
Maybe can stand alone.
Maybe can be yes and no all at the same time.

Maybe suggests a possibility.
Maybe gives you some hope
Maybe can mean I do not know but I do not want to admit it.

Maybe is soft, not hard cold rejection or strong passionate confirmation
Maybe is between extremes, a safe limbo to be in.
Maybe is indecisive, maybe even fickle.

It may be it all maybe is.

take care of your heart

pre-text: i've been toying with this idea of the heart...its physical importance in our bodies, and of course in our emotional life. most probably not how i wanted it written or how i had it in my head. but rather random ramblings. seems to be having quite a couple of these moments these days.

muse: those who have touched my heart

Heart disease is a lifestyle disease
Determined by daily choices we make
Of the food we eat
Determined by small and big choices we make
In life

Careful not to let your heart beat too fast
Your mortal body might not be able to catch up
If your heart slows down too much
That isn’t good either
Make each beat strong and powerful

Follow your heart
It is the engine of your soul
Use your head
It is the control center of your being
Together, use your head to follow your heart

And should there be conflict
Sit down and think about it
Feel it coursing through your blood
Weigh what is at stake with what you value
You will find a balance, most of the time

Do not let your heart get soft
This way, you are vulnerable to the scheming
Do not let your heart get hard
You might not feel anything then
Have a humble and open heart

Leap for joy and happiness
Your heart should celebrate good things in life
Grief if you need to, but not too long
A broken heart syndrome can very well lead to a heart attack
Take your heart on a rollercoaster ride

If someone should break your heart
Know that time will heal it
But scars may always remain
It is alright, no one looks at it anyway
They only care if you are willing to give your heart to them, and how much

Cut the lock of fear, cut the lock of hurt
You only end up keeping it all in, and alone
Open your heart and let others in
To know you, your life and the being in your shell
It can be quite liberating

Heart disease is a lifestyle disease
Of emotions and of physical well-being
You have a choice
To live and love
Healthily and happily

Love should be enough

pre-text: honestly, the words spilled out of my head. dunno if it makes any sense or not...but i guess the idea is..when u say the word "love" as a noun or a verb...it automatically means...true, honest, everlasting, constant, passionate love. there's no need to say "i really love you" or " i love you forever". it's a given.

muse: to all my loved ones.

Love is enough

It should not be true
It should not be forever
It should not be unconditional

It need not be declared
It need not be displayed
It need not be justified

It will not be simplified
It will not be complicated
It will not be overrated

Love is enough.