away from myself

pre-text: i have never felt this all-over-the-place feeling before...its not the typical confused/disoriented/mellow/nostalgic bullshit we feel from time to time. i can't seem to describe it in words, it just makes me feel like screaming and crying and laughing and needy ALL at the same time

muse: myself with contributions from people in my life, past and present

i need to get out of here
out of my skin out of this reality
disgusted by my very own sickened insides
sick and tired of feeling and thinking
and expressing it out loud
to have this shit i know so well bounce off you and unto me again
or have you analyze from your perspective and reintroduce it to me
no more deep thinking and unfinished last cries
done with being cynical, skeptical and jaded ( and any other word that describes
absolute hopelessness )
it has gotten old this idea of passion and never giving up on anything or anyone
been squeezing life out of the core of my dead being
till the emptiness is now nothing
ought to get away from you and the me that i am when i am with you
have to find the me i gave up for you
being alone is no longer any comfort
have to tear what is left of the me I used to know apart from the self i am now
so i will no longer self-destruct
i need to save myself because you won’t.