pre-text: sudden pang of worthlessness hit me. ( i think this feeling's always been ard, just that i ignore it or block it and it comes and hits me in my head on a fairly regular basis). i didnt go looking ard to talk to anyone but sda called and we talked. i felt a lil better but i still know i need to look within myself to feel good abt myself and my life.
muse: sda (got to give him some credit...)
thoughts run zigzag all over my mind
creating a maze that i cannot find my way out of
i go around a corner and another wall springs out
like random fancy philosophy
that is used to make satisfactory sense of the un-understood
my eyes are wide open but completely blind
i listen to voices within and outside of me
turn left turn right do this do that
each wall i feel seems strangely familiar
yet different and refreshing in a sick sick way
follow your gut follow what is inside
i can not do that
this is reflexive this is self-consuming
flaws and strengths blended into one
the hero in this story is the victim
and that is me.
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