Thursday, December 22, 2005

tell me

pre-text: clearly i was confused and desperately 'obedient' at the point of writing.

muse: hk

tell me
how to love and let go
and if i do let go
how to love bravely still

tell me
how to love without possessing
to love without controlling
to love without demanding
to love without hurting the other

tell me
what to do with myself.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

you hurt

pre-text: i wrote this a while ago and had it saved on my school com. was feeling rather down then... now that i look at it, love should never ever hurt, at least not this way.

muse:
sda

I do not want to blame you
For what you did or did not do, for what you meant or did not meant to say or do.
I do not want to blame you
For being who you are, your perfect self now tainted with dirtiness
Because I love you

You turn around and point the finger of blame at me
Say that I am the one fucking things up.
Remember I am harsher on me than on you
And that I have cursed myself a million times over before you did.
But I love you still

Nothing set in stone for us both, you say
I am the one who said we got to keep on working at us
Now doubts just keep popping out
Why bother with this now if we both know it will never work ever?
Because I love you?

I want to love you with all I have and more
Be your best and your everything and your last
But to do it at my expense is asking for more than I am willing to give
Been there, done there. So fuck that.
I love you but you hurt me.

Love should never hurt.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

sad

pre-text: i wrote this a couple weeks back because i was in some kind of a crossroads in my r/s with someone i love. it made me think about my past..and it made me sad. i still cant decide which is sadder.

muse: all the guys i've loved and some that i still love

which is sadder
to have loved and lost
or never to have loved at all

which is sadder
to love someone and realise that you have to go away
leave him and know he would not ever want you back
or to give your all and more
and realise he was never worth it at all
or to silently love him from afar, knowing that it is the only way
for him to be happy without you
or accept someone for all they are until they change
their feelings for you and leave
or to love someone wholeheartedly but
his heart's torn between people and places
or to want to suspend all logic and rationale to love him
but he is just not feeling as passionate as you
or love him and leave him and love him and leave him
playing love like a jackpot game
or to simply stop loving at all
because the hurt afterwards is just not worth it
or to keep on loving and believing
cause you do not know how else to be alive

which is sadder
to have loved and lost
or never to have loved at all